Though everyone knows death exists and that it will strike one day, dealing with the death of a loved one is a traumatic task. Perhaps, all that someone can do on the death of a loved one is to express grief and allow time to heal the pain.

The death of a pet is no different from the death of a human, even though there are quite a few people who think that it is not worth mourning a pet. Pet-lovers are sentimental and need some closure after the passing of a cherished four-legged companion. The law in most states permits only the cremation of animals and so pet-lovers have no opportunity to visit a pet’s resting place. Hence, a pet memorial is the most appropriate way to pay homage to a departed pet.

A pet memorial can be as unique as a bereaved pet-lover would want it to be. Most people opt for a simple plaque to commemorate the bond of love that they shared with their pets. A granite pet memorial consists of engraved plaques that can be laid over the pet’s last refuge or be fitted in the pet-lover’s home.

Granite monuments, designed especially for pets are available on the Internet. They are engraved with the pet’s name and important dates, at no extra cost. Some granite plaque manufacturers also offer to engrave salutary remarks, quotes and epitaphs for the pet. A wonderful feature, available through some sellers, is laser carving, which enables the pet-lover to engrave the pet’s picture on to the granite.

Granite plaques come in a range of colors and very often the visibility of the engraving depends on the color. For instance, darker granite is the best suited for laser engravings whereas a lighter one is suited for verbal etchings.

Granite pet memorials are everlasting and can literally immortalize the pet in stone. Most people choose to lay it in a place they can visit often or the pet’s favorite location.

Pet Memorials provides detailed information on Pet Memorials, Pet Memorial Stones, Pet Memorial Markers, Online Pet Memorials and more. Pet Memorials is affiliated with Pet Services.

How many uses can you find for a dead fox? When I happened upon one recently whilst out walking with my children, the poor lifeless creature suddenly became the catalyst for an important family moment. It was an opportunity to talk about death. You won’t find ‘thanatology’ on the curriculum at school, yet it’s the one subject that every child will have to deal with at some point. Thanatology is the little known word used to describe death education, a taboo in our society, especially when dealing with children. They learn about birth in sex education, but our final rite of passage is rarely acknowledged by either school or home.

It is estimated by Winston’s Wish, a charity that works with bereaved children and their families, that 5% of children will experience the death of a parent or sibling, and 10% will lose a parent, carer, close friend or relative. Most children will be aware of the death of someone more distant, or will lose a pet. No matter how idyllic we try to make childhood, death will always be there to cast a shadow.

The modern child’s relationship to death is likely to be a puerile one. Many children are exposed to high levels of glorified violence and death through television and video games. At Halloween they play ghoulish games to confront fears about what lies beyond the grave. However, most children are unlikely to have ever seen a real dead body, or possibly even had a meaningful conversation with an adult about our final destiny. It is important that we share with children the reality of death, not in a morbid, fearful way, but as a natural process and great mystery. We all want children to inhabit a happy, positive world, but to deny them the reality of death also denies them something about the reality of life. In the words of the popular spiritual writer, the late M.Scott Peck, ‘When we shy away from death, the ever-changing nature of things, we inevitably shy away from life.’ Also, if we do not allow the concept of death to gently permeate children’s lives, they will be ill prepared if sudden tragedy were to strike.

The children’s bereavement charity The Gone Forever Project is pressing the Government and Teacher’s Training Agency to include death education in the school curriculum. It wants to ensure that all teachers are trained in the awareness of the issues which surround loss and bereavement, as part of their initial training. Teachers can include death education across the curriculum, as part of emotional literacy in Personal, Social and Health Education, or funeral rituals in Religious Education. Death could also be discussed in science lessons in terms of the lifecycle of the natural world. Schools also often have to respond to real deaths, either of a pupil, a parent or teacher. My son’s junior school recently held an assembly in memory of one its pupils who had died of leukaemia. Helium balloons were released by the children with goodbye messages. Holding such a ceremony was controversial amongst the staff, some of whom thought it might be unnecessarily upsetting. When I went to collect my children, many pupils were weeping. It was terribly sad, but I felt that as well as being an important farewell ritual, it also reminded us all of the value of life. Parents and children seemed to be acutely aware of how much they loved each other that day.

Parents will find that opportunities to discuss death with their children will spontaneously occur. On the simplest level you can point out to your children the cycles of birth and death that exist in nature. Notice together how the flowers first bloom, then die, how autumn and winter follow spring and summer. Discuss the ageing process by observing the physiology between old and young; and like the fox we found at the roadside, there are likely to be animal corpses to contemplate.

The death of a pet often provides children with their first experience of personal grief, and for this reason is a positive learning experience. When a child’s pet dies a parent needs to be sensitive about the loss, no matter how small the animal. An important way of doing this is by making sure there is a thoughtful goodbye ritual. This reassures the child that the pet was cared for, as well as providing a focus for their bereavement. Debbie Orme runs ‘Goodbye My Pet’ a company that makes attractive cardboard pet coffins and grave markers. It also supplies a helpful ceremony book to guide parents and children through a simple pet funeral at home. ‘I get lots of letters from families telling me how much the funeral helped them all come to terms with the loss of their pet. Parents also say that the experience enabled the family to share their beliefs and feelings in a way they wouldn’t normally. Adult pet lovers have used my coffins and ceremony booklets too, with similar results.’ Debbie Orme believes that although the loss of a pet is a sad event for children, if handled well, it can also become a meaningful and memorable family experience.

Children all deal with bereavement in different ways. Typically they may express their feelings through actions rather than words. Young children may wet the bed, cry and seek attention or feel unwell. Older children my display changes in personality, show sleep and appetite disturbances, find it hard to concentrate at school and become depressed. Some children may show no obvious signs of bereavement at all initially. It is quite usual for grief to come in waves and for a child to feel sad one moment, and the next seem perfectly happy. Although talking to children about the death of a person or animal that they love may be one of the hardest things we ever have to do, it is one of the most important ways we can help as they journey through their grief.

Children’s levels of understanding about death

Under twos Have little concept of death but will still miss the deceased and sense the upset.

Two to four year olds Find it hard to understand that death is permanent, and may ask when the deceased is coming back.

Five to ten year olds They begin to understand the finality of death, and can have lots of questions about it.

Adolescence The finality of death is more fully understood. It may be a time of high emotions, and a reluctance to open up and share with you.

Have you lost a pet recently and are looking for a pet head stone? When the smallest, but not the least of your family has passed on, an engraved granite head stone can be a reminder of its special place in your family. There are numerous sayings that you can put on a pet head stone, everything from, “My best friend”, or “Rest in peace our lucky girl”, to “You’re mama’s big boy”, or you can put on there essentially anything that means the most to you. You remember the days that were special with your pet, every time you visit the pet cemetery. If your pet was a dog, you’ll remember the knitted dog sweater patterns that you use to persue when making your pooch that special sweater, the bond you felt between one another when you went on those special walks or runs, and even the vip pet insurance that is no longer necessary. Your favor pet was more than just a pet. It was a companion and you want their legacy to be permanent. After all, it’s one-way people mourn when their pets die. You’re going to experience a profound loss with just about any pet, and in recent years the stigma associated with mourning the loss of the pet has begun to fade, and people have found many different ways of remembering and grieving for their pets. The loss of a pet is certainly more profound if you are on your own perhaps by also being widowed. Pets are good companions when loved ones have been lost due to a partner’s death so it can be very, very hard to lose a pet, too. After all, you are a little family!

Another way of keeping your pet’s memory is to have it cremated. You may choose to still have a pet head stone and place your pet’s remains in the backyard or in a pet cemetery, or maybe even keep the ashes in pottery crocks on your bookcase. Veterinarians, over the years of working with families, have concurred that pets are actually members of our families. There are actual support groups for grieving pet owners and you may want to consider something like this if you’ve recently lost your pet. You may want to memorialize the pet that died. This may include burying your pet in a pet cemetery or if you choose to have a cremation, you can keep the ashes or even contribute to a favorite charity in the pet’s name. As an example, one grave in a pet cemetery contained a life-sized, cement bulldog wearing a red collar and had a worn tennis ball at its feet.

Vip pet insurance is available for pet owners who have older dogs or pets, and you’ll be amazed at some of the benefits associated with these plans. If you have a crippled or ailing pet, these health insurance plans can offer euthanasia coverage in the event that you would need to put your pet to sleep. The amount of money that you save with vip pet insurance will depend upon how often you need it, and how accident prone or ill your pet becomes. When it comes to spending money for your pet’s funeral, you’ll find that these insurance plans do not cover this expense. If you choose a pet casket, you can even lay your dog to rest in its favorite collar or even that sweater that you spent hours going through knitted dog sweater patterns to make. From choosing a pet head stone, a pet cemetery, or an insurance plan for your pet, make sure that you do your homework first as prices will vary. Either way you look at it, your pet is very special and should be laid to rest and given a special place in your backyard, hearth or pet cemetery, and of course, snuggly in your own heart.

“It’s only a dog.”“Just go get another cat. Shelters are full of them.”“How could you pretend that an animal means as much as a person?”The list goes on and on because even though there are 360 million pets in the United States alone, there are multitudes of people who just plain don’t ‘get it’. The pain over the loss of a family member who just happens to be an animal is just as big, just as hard, and every bit as justified to the bereaved as human loss. Sometimes, the loss is felt even greater because an animal has the capability to love a master unconditionally, devotedly, and without regard to their own lives. Very few humans can muster this kind of love on a 24/7 schedule. So how does one deal with the loss of a precious pet when the world seems to discount or be unable to relate?Here are the Top Ten Ways:

1. Feel – Allow the emotions to be as big as they need to be.

2. Release – Find a positive outlet for your pain.

3. Honor – Memorialize the lost pet in the way that makes you feel better.

4. Celebrate – Remember what your beloved pet brought you and journal the lessons and blessings taught by them.

5. Hope – When the time is right, seek peace through other animal angels.

Go ahead, FEEL the pain. Allow yourself the time it takes to be alone, to grieve, to shout, to feel anger, to blame, to forgive, to release, to cry. The bigger the pain, the bigger the release must be. Taking a day off work, even a vacation day or week, might be necessary. Some people want to feel the discomfort of burying their pet in a special place. Others want to be present when their pet is cremated. Tears and emotion must be allowed for the movement of the current of grief to pass.

Releasing the grief usually feels like a pent up rage is exploding from the center of one’s being. Physical activity like boxing a punching bag, running, heavy gardening, moving rock, or riding a bike are ways one can release the pain. Even non-physical people need a release for the anger which a natural by-product of loss. We blame our veterinarians, pet food companies, our friends, and anyone in the path of heartbreak. That’s natural. We want to scream at anyone who doesn’t understand. Instead of a negative channel, using a positive physical release can help those feelings move through us in a healing way.

Honor the pet who has been lost with a shrine, a scrapbook, an online memorial, a beautiful urn, or even a souvenir gemstone created from their ashes. Who cares if someone else finds you over the top or even silly? It’s not their loss. If someone loses a loved one, the ritual of saying goodbye is a very important one. Flowers, gravesides, services, letters to friends explaining your loss or a story about what your pet has meant are just ways people let go. One of the largest growing segments of the ‘death industry’ at funeral homes and crematoriums is pet memorials. People want to treat their pets with the respect they’ve always given. Honor is a last thank you to a best friend gone home.

Celebrate a pet through remembering. Each animal that blesses us with their love and devotion brings also, a message. They teach us. They make us better people. Beginning a daily (or more often) journaling of a special memory from a departed pet will help us remember and let go. The memories might bring tears. That’s good. The memories might bring up pain. That’s good. The memories might bring up laughter. Yes, when one finds a departed pet’s hair on a seat cushion, it becomes a loving visitation. The things that used to be a nuisance can be loving remembrances.

Hope is often found through the love of another pet. Timing is everything. Some people feel that a ‘replacement pet’ cheapens the relationship with the departed pet. No pet is replaceable. But a beautiful volunteer at a humane shelter once said, “The reason that our pets’ lives are so short compared to ours, is so we can be blessed by many”. There is so much peace in that statement. Perhaps the feeling that a new animal is ‘sent’ helps ease the pain. A picture of an animal angel sending some new furry creature to help care for their precious human is a healing picture, indeed! Take as long as needed to feel, release, honor, and celebrate the memory of an animal lost. But hope springs eternal in a new love.

For people who love someone going through the loss of a pet, unable to find the perfect words, what do you do to show that you care, even if you cannot fully comprehend the depth of pain a person is experiencing? There are several books on the subject, greeting cards, and even flowers that can help someone know that you care. There is a new book designed as a keepsake for the bereaved pet owner called, Goodbye My Friend: Celebrating the Memory of a Pet, by Devon O’Day (author of My Angels Wear Fur) with an accompanying CD of healing music by award winning songwriter, Kim McLean. The book was designed so the front cover becomes a picture frame for the beloved pet’s photo. As the first page is turned, the music should begin allowing the bereaved to take a visual, audible journey through their emotions of loss. The book was beautifully designed with pictures of dogs, cats, and horses to promote healing through feeling. The book/CD is new from Rutledge Hill Press and is available through all major book outlets, including Amazon. On the last page of the book, there is a link and a code for a free online memorial for the lost pet, from http://www.PetStories.com

One cannot always be an ‘animal person’, but when one loves an animal person, the right words of comfort are desperately needed at the time of loss. Devon O’Day and Kim McLean are available for interviews on the subject of pet bereavement. They are currently on a book tour with a program of readings, stories, letters, and songs which includes bookstores, churches, and fundraisers for animal rescue organizations. These ‘booksingings’ are made available to fundraising groups free of charge.